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A New Manifesto
Jun. 12th, 2006 07:40 pmIn a few words, what would you describe me as? Anyone?
For some reason, and with good basis, I think that almost everyone would miss at least some aspect of me. And I can probably figure on what that would be. The parts that I don't fit the look for.
I love music. Absolutely obsessed with it, and I like it loud. I mean so loud that if I'm driving down the road, every car around me can hear it.
It has occured to me recently that I do not lead a very interesting life. I have one friend that I do stuff with all the time, and a handful of other friends who I think tend to forget my existance.
What do I look like? I look like a good-two-shoe bookworm. I tend to look 15. Only one of those things is true- I do like books, an awful lot. Otherwise I wouldn't be an English major.
In the past two weeks I have started working to change this. I speak my mind more. And yes, this often includes profanity. I cut my hair, something I'd been wanting to do for ages. I ALLOW myself to vascillate between masculine outfits and feminine ones. I've bought more music. I don't withdraw around strangers for nerves.
I made a group on facebook because I'm sick of having to explain what ska is to everyone I meet. I want to go out and really DO things. I want people to KNOW that I really can't stand country music and that I want nothing more right now than to be surrounded by people and music and goodtimes.
There are a few things I want to clear up with the World about Who I Am
1. I'm a NOT a prude
2. I like books and poetry
3. I also like Punk and ska and rock. Dropkick Murphys own my heart, though Less Than Jake and the Tossers are making a pretty decent bid at it with follow-ups by Flogging Molly, The Aquabats and Reel Big Fish.
4. I'm intelligent, i can't help that. It's a fact and I'm not being arogant to say it. I wouldn't have a 3.96 GPA if I weren't.
5. I am attracted to guys and girls very equally, but hate the word bisexual because it sounds so damn clinical, and I don't really give a rat's ass for labels anyhow.
6. I have some degree of gender ambiguity. I do not consider myself strictly feminine, but nor to I consider myself androgynous or gender queer, exactly. Just not on one polar end. That is the -real- reason I sometimes hate my body and why i went and actually used the counceling center on campus. I need to find clothes my size so I can dress in drag sometime
7. I like to drink and I will prolly pick up smoking sometime because I practically drink in the smoke when I'm around people who do.
8. I don't like to be alone -all- the time
9. I curse. Don't ask me how many times I say or write 'fuck' in a day. Maybe it's not ladylike, but then, nor amy I very much a lady somedays.
10. I really, really want to do SOMETHING right now.
So this is my vow to work on my life. I will talk to EVERY interesting person I meet [advice taken from facebook], I will speak my mind, and above all, I will be myself. All I ask of the world in return is that it not jusdge me and stuff me in a box as an 'Intellectual,' a stuffy, sweater-vest clad scholar. Because that's NOT all there is to me, I can't help but to cringe at the very idea. There is simply so. much. more. I don't want to begin things entirely again, because parts of my life, I really enjoy having built as they are, I like how I look, I like my friends. I don't think it's wrong to want more. A man's reach must exceed his grasp, / What else is a Heaven for? Robert Browning. And so true.
I think the best times in our lives are when we have something to prove.
For some reason, and with good basis, I think that almost everyone would miss at least some aspect of me. And I can probably figure on what that would be. The parts that I don't fit the look for.
I love music. Absolutely obsessed with it, and I like it loud. I mean so loud that if I'm driving down the road, every car around me can hear it.
It has occured to me recently that I do not lead a very interesting life. I have one friend that I do stuff with all the time, and a handful of other friends who I think tend to forget my existance.
What do I look like? I look like a good-two-shoe bookworm. I tend to look 15. Only one of those things is true- I do like books, an awful lot. Otherwise I wouldn't be an English major.
In the past two weeks I have started working to change this. I speak my mind more. And yes, this often includes profanity. I cut my hair, something I'd been wanting to do for ages. I ALLOW myself to vascillate between masculine outfits and feminine ones. I've bought more music. I don't withdraw around strangers for nerves.
I made a group on facebook because I'm sick of having to explain what ska is to everyone I meet. I want to go out and really DO things. I want people to KNOW that I really can't stand country music and that I want nothing more right now than to be surrounded by people and music and goodtimes.
There are a few things I want to clear up with the World about Who I Am
1. I'm a NOT a prude
2. I like books and poetry
3. I also like Punk and ska and rock. Dropkick Murphys own my heart, though Less Than Jake and the Tossers are making a pretty decent bid at it with follow-ups by Flogging Molly, The Aquabats and Reel Big Fish.
4. I'm intelligent, i can't help that. It's a fact and I'm not being arogant to say it. I wouldn't have a 3.96 GPA if I weren't.
5. I am attracted to guys and girls very equally, but hate the word bisexual because it sounds so damn clinical, and I don't really give a rat's ass for labels anyhow.
6. I have some degree of gender ambiguity. I do not consider myself strictly feminine, but nor to I consider myself androgynous or gender queer, exactly. Just not on one polar end. That is the -real- reason I sometimes hate my body and why i went and actually used the counceling center on campus. I need to find clothes my size so I can dress in drag sometime
7. I like to drink and I will prolly pick up smoking sometime because I practically drink in the smoke when I'm around people who do.
8. I don't like to be alone -all- the time
9. I curse. Don't ask me how many times I say or write 'fuck' in a day. Maybe it's not ladylike, but then, nor amy I very much a lady somedays.
10. I really, really want to do SOMETHING right now.
So this is my vow to work on my life. I will talk to EVERY interesting person I meet [advice taken from facebook], I will speak my mind, and above all, I will be myself. All I ask of the world in return is that it not jusdge me and stuff me in a box as an 'Intellectual,' a stuffy, sweater-vest clad scholar. Because that's NOT all there is to me, I can't help but to cringe at the very idea. There is simply so. much. more. I don't want to begin things entirely again, because parts of my life, I really enjoy having built as they are, I like how I look, I like my friends. I don't think it's wrong to want more. A man's reach must exceed his grasp, / What else is a Heaven for? Robert Browning. And so true.
I think the best times in our lives are when we have something to prove.
