A few things!

[themegaloo]

Firstly, I finally remembered the other amusing story I had intended to relate yesterday:

So, for like, ALL OF LAST YEAR, including the summer, I lived on the third floor, backside of the building. Well, back as in "the side not facing campus," because if you're ON that side it would seem to be the front and all, but for simplicity's sake, I'm calling it the backside of the building

Then a few weeks ago I moved to the SECOND floor on the [relative] frontside of the SAME building. [Not sharing space with so many people so it's smaller and I like it <3 Plus my roommate? Completely fabulous. Only awkward point is the ex-boyfriend across the hall who FLEES, apparently, when he seens me. =/]

So yesterday, walking in from class, etc, so on, so forth, dullness, listening to music and then....then I realize I'm five steps from the third floor on the [relative] backside of the building!

So, naturally, I face palm and waltz around the third floor and go down the steps next to my room. I know, it's not a thrilling story in the least, but I know some people will want to taunt me with it at least!

Other Notable Happenings:
1. Look at my previous entry. Look at the number of comments [currently 167]. I have -never in my life- had that many comments to a post in my LJ. Ever. My inbox? It died. I have it going through Thunderbird, checking like, every minute, I believe for that account and I was getting comment notifications in groups of between 4 and 6 every few minutes for a while. I loved it! *amused*
2. I do solemnly swear not to call Matt adorable.
3. Does anyone know where I can find jeans with like, striped [via seams] pant legs?
4. ...brain died. I swear there was more. Why does this always happen to me?! *headdesk*

Comments

[popcornlasers.livejournal.com]

Haha, that's amusing.

I don't need "comfort" or whatever, I'm fine. And he shouldn't be afraid; he has no reason to be and I've told him that. I don't know why he won't believe me.

[themegaloo.livejournal.com]

What's also amusing is I've been waiting and watching for it. Or maybe that's just sad.

I know you don't, but that doesn't stop me from wishing there was something I could do. Because I rather like you. Just as a person, yanno?

[popcornlasers.livejournal.com]

I honestly haven't been paying attention, but now that you bring it up it is pretty funny. :D

Well...thank you. I appreciate it, but I really don't think they're much you can do. Thanks anywya, though.

[themegaloo.livejournal.com]

I just can't believe that in all that time no ...squishing natures of fangirls have jumped in.

You're welcome, and I figured tehre wasn't, but at least wanted you to know that I would if there were. The other thing I'm prone to doing is ordering people to eat chocolate because, well, it's chocolate and a good comfort food and tastey to boot, but that seems more something for Mello than you. nyah. I hope it all...is set to rights and all.

[popcornlasers.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is rather surprising. Nice, too, though. :D

Me too. And thanks; chocolate isn't a bad idea. :D

[themegaloo.livejournal.com]

A well deserved break for you, I'd say.

Provided it's not Mello's and he doesn't try to kill you or soemthing for taking it

[popcornlasers.livejournal.com]

Yes, I agree.

He wouldn't. He doesn't mind too much, I don't think, as long as I replace it.

[themegaloo.livejournal.com]

ah, well good. I'd wager that doesn't go for most people though, from the looks of it

[chocomachinegun.livejournal.com]

It doesn;t. Not for anyone else, honestly.

[chocomachinegun.livejournal.com]

I... ok, so I don't normally allow him to take my chocolate. But... as this is partly my fault and I feel horribly guilty about it, Matt can have some of it. Some.

[themegaloo.livejournal.com]

ah, well, I'm sure he appreciates it? I really do hope you guys can work all this out. =/

[chocomachinegun.livejournal.com]

Me, too, dammit! Do you think I like seeing Matt so unhappy?

[themegaloo.livejournal.com]

Certainly not, I think rather more highly of you than to think you enjoy causing him pain

[chocomachinegun.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to see someone does.

I just... shit. Maybe he would be better off without me.

[themegaloo.livejournal.com]

Enough of the strikeouts already. There is no point when the entire comment is struck-out. =/

I sincerely doubt that, he seems to completely adore you. Only in a far less girly-sounding way. Which I can't think of how to word.

But, did you not read what he's been saying? He doesn't want to leave you, he doesn't wnat to make you unhappy, he cares for you apparently a whole fucking lot, so don't be foolish, he certainly wouldn't be "better off without you."

[chocomachinegun.livejournal.com]

All right.

... I can't imagine why.

Yes, I read it. And all that is true, but it's also true that he's hurting and it's my fault and I don't know how to fix it and I seem to make it worse whenever I try. I don't want to keep hurting him! What the fuck am I supposed to do, then?

[themegaloo.livejournal.com]

Who knows why anyone falls for another person? Sometimes it's so completely illogical that it's stupid.

And yes, he's hurting, and yes, it's because of you. But you know? Cutting ties would probably hurt him just as much, if not more. The way I see it is that you need to have a very long talk, a talk about what the both of you are looking for. And you need to have a smilar talk with Hitsugaya as well. And between the three of you, something needs to be worked out. I'm not sure what, because I'm really just a by-stander here with a few insights, but something.

[chocomachinegun.livejournal.com]

But what if I don't know what I want? What if none of us do? Do you really think we can work something out?

[themegaloo.livejournal.com]

Who really can say they know exactly wht the want in life? What's important is that you at least talk to the people who matter and get an idea of it.

And as for whether something could work, yeah. I think you have a shot, but you can't just keep on Not Talking, because that lets resentment build up and all. Maybe you can "have the ebst of both worlds," so to say, but you have to be fair to them both, up-front and honest. You follow?

[chocomachinegun.livejournal.com]

... Do you really think so? I'd like to believe it's possible. I don't want to lose either of them... but I don't want them hurting either. None of us really want to talk about it. But dammit, I'm trying to be fair and I'm sure as hell not lying about anything!

Yeah, yeah, I follow.

[themegaloo.livejournal.com]

It seems that way to me at least. I think there's a definite possibility.

And I can see you don't want to talk about it, that's almost painfully obvious, but it certainly won't work if you don't, you realize.

[chocomachinegun.livejournal.com]

What makes you say that?

But what if one of them makes me choose?

[themegaloo.livejournal.com]

The way you and Matt interact. I think with you twoa t least...it could possibly work. I don't know Hitsugaya, so that's really the wild card to me.

And that's just a risk you might have to take. And even if it is the case, is it not better than losing them both because of this unintentional block in communitcation?

[chocomachinegun.livejournal.com]

... I hope you're right.

It was a series of rather odd coincidences that led to me getting to know him. But it's worth doing. He's... well, I'm biased, so nevermind.

But I'm not ready! I can't choose! And... lose them both... that... I... that would be a disaster. I can't...

I think I need chocolate now. Maybe a lot of chocolate. I'll be back later. Perhaps. When I come out from under the bed or wherever.

[themegaloo.livejournal.com]

Only time will tell, really.

Don't panic, alright? Just...think things through, talk to them, that's your main thing. You can do this, I really think you can. And I don't think you'll lose them, really I don't, but if, like I said, you keep this Not Talking thing going, it becomes a very real possibility.

And yeah, eat chocolate, good plan.