Srs Biznes
May. 13th, 2007 07:06 amYou know how sometimes dates are important? Like birdays, anniverseries, etc. Today, if you look at in a day-thing, is Mother's Day. Today also marks the day on which I decided to change.
So despite the fact that I really need to sleep, I am not, in fact asleep and instead am recollecting what I've accomplished in the past year.
One year ago today I let go of my past and learned to be a whole, individual person. I broke up with a boy I'd dated since I was 16, the first in a lot of things, still the only in some of them. And there have been days I've wondered if it was right, days I've had regrets, but you know what? In the grand scheme of things- I don't I wasn't happy, I only prended to be happy, thought I couldn't do any better, let myself fall into a habit.
A year ago I never had time to myself anymore.
A year ago I couldn't have my own friends who he didn't try to encroach upon in someway- IRL or online.
A year ago I didn't have a social life.
A year ago my grades were pretty much perfect. And I panicked about them. Now they aren't and I'm human about them.
A year ago my relationship with my mom was strained and icky and a year ago? I started over.
I know what's important to me now and it isn't romance of having a boyfriend or sex or companionship or anything like that. It's loving my family and friends and making NEW friends and meeting amazing people. It's being myself and being happy with myself. Expressing what I feel, when I feel it without fear of being shunned or ridiculed for it. Having the capablity to change things without it being an issue. Living my own life, learning who I am, figuring out how I want the course of my life to run. I didn't write much about it in here, which was probably good, really. I did write one thing I like a month or so later: I think the best times in our lives are when we have something to prove.
IF I HAVE MET YOU IN THE LAST YEAR: You're all amazing and I'm so glad to have met each of you, through whatever means it happened, be it random or brawl or what-have-you. ♥
IF YOU KNEW ME THROUGH ANY OF THE YEARS BEFORE: Thank you for still knowing me now. ♥
AND MUM, if you are reading this: I love you. Happy Mother's Day, come wake me up and I'll help you clean. ♥
It's a beautiful morning.
So despite the fact that I really need to sleep, I am not, in fact asleep and instead am recollecting what I've accomplished in the past year.
One year ago today I let go of my past and learned to be a whole, individual person. I broke up with a boy I'd dated since I was 16, the first in a lot of things, still the only in some of them. And there have been days I've wondered if it was right, days I've had regrets, but you know what? In the grand scheme of things- I don't I wasn't happy, I only prended to be happy, thought I couldn't do any better, let myself fall into a habit.
A year ago I never had time to myself anymore.
A year ago I couldn't have my own friends who he didn't try to encroach upon in someway- IRL or online.
A year ago I didn't have a social life.
A year ago my grades were pretty much perfect. And I panicked about them. Now they aren't and I'm human about them.
A year ago my relationship with my mom was strained and icky and a year ago? I started over.
I know what's important to me now and it isn't romance of having a boyfriend or sex or companionship or anything like that. It's loving my family and friends and making NEW friends and meeting amazing people. It's being myself and being happy with myself. Expressing what I feel, when I feel it without fear of being shunned or ridiculed for it. Having the capablity to change things without it being an issue. Living my own life, learning who I am, figuring out how I want the course of my life to run. I didn't write much about it in here, which was probably good, really. I did write one thing I like a month or so later: I think the best times in our lives are when we have something to prove.
IF I HAVE MET YOU IN THE LAST YEAR: You're all amazing and I'm so glad to have met each of you, through whatever means it happened, be it random or brawl or what-have-you. ♥
IF YOU KNEW ME THROUGH ANY OF THE YEARS BEFORE: Thank you for still knowing me now. ♥
AND MUM, if you are reading this: I love you. Happy Mother's Day, come wake me up and I'll help you clean. ♥
It's a beautiful morning.