![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
themegalooI hadn't realized until today how much a shock death could be. i'm sitting here, several hours after reading the LJ posts, the email from Demarc, and the news article, and I can still hardly believe it's true. I feel like I'm in this little dream world, that when I wake up everything will be normal again and none of this ever happened. It's just...surreal. Ineffable, even. I really just don't what to think, how to react...or quite what to say.
Sure, I didn't know her all that well, wasn't particularly close to her. Yet, I'll never forget how everytime I would run into her just out and about campus, she'd give me one of those one-armed hugs and ask how I was, how'd I'd been, etc, and wotnot. Pretty much everytime. I think I'll always remember her voice, her face, the way she smiled...it's like she's still here, I can almost touch her in the back of my mind...
I'm not dealing with death all that well today. I'm not sure if I would on any day really, but I'm dealing particularly badly right now.
That first GSA meeting I went to...I was terrified to walk in that door. I got there early and was just standing by the rail, looking down into the rest of the Union. She walked up and started talking to me, brought me inside, made me feel welcome.
That is truly something I won't forget. I may not have always felt completely at ease after that among all these people I didn't know, I still don't always, but that first day- when I needed it most- I was made to feel welcome. And that mattered. That mattered an awful lot to me.
It seems, sometimes, that the people who truly touch our lives and make that small difference that causes an avalanche never stay long. I'm glad that I met her in the time she was here, I hope she's in a better palce, I will always remember what she did for me, as simple an act as it seems. Sometimes, it really is the simple things that matter most.
Sure, I didn't know her all that well, wasn't particularly close to her. Yet, I'll never forget how everytime I would run into her just out and about campus, she'd give me one of those one-armed hugs and ask how I was, how'd I'd been, etc, and wotnot. Pretty much everytime. I think I'll always remember her voice, her face, the way she smiled...it's like she's still here, I can almost touch her in the back of my mind...
I'm not dealing with death all that well today. I'm not sure if I would on any day really, but I'm dealing particularly badly right now.
That first GSA meeting I went to...I was terrified to walk in that door. I got there early and was just standing by the rail, looking down into the rest of the Union. She walked up and started talking to me, brought me inside, made me feel welcome.
That is truly something I won't forget. I may not have always felt completely at ease after that among all these people I didn't know, I still don't always, but that first day- when I needed it most- I was made to feel welcome. And that mattered. That mattered an awful lot to me.
It seems, sometimes, that the people who truly touch our lives and make that small difference that causes an avalanche never stay long. I'm glad that I met her in the time she was here, I hope she's in a better palce, I will always remember what she did for me, as simple an act as it seems. Sometimes, it really is the simple things that matter most.
