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this week sucks
May. 13th, 2010 07:51 pmThese are things which you know if you follow me on twitter:
• My grandfather died on Sunday and I'm flying out to Texas for the funeral tomorrow. It was incredibly sudden and unexpected and happened in his sleep. I'm okay, I really am. But it's sort of a strange lack of balance. (Not that I was ever very balanced, the amount of bruises I have right now from running into things is really sad.) Just the fact that he always HAS been there, I talked to him like, a week before. He wasn't sick or anything, but he'd had bypass surgery 24 years ago. I'm sad, but I'm not devastated because I'm glad he went quickly and peacefully and was babysitting the night before, because he was always so full of life that I think wasting away would have killed him on an emotional level. He made his mistakes, but he was a good man and he was really happy for the past several years. His wife, Carmen, and he founded and ran a ministry in the Philippines and he'd been sober and happy. You can't help but admire a man who made mistakes, but still found something that made him really happy. These past few years he and my grandmother had even been friendly, which took a long time. I'm going to stop word vomiting about this now because I don't really know what to say about it except the fact that he was my grandfather and I loved him and the world feels a little strange knowing that he's no longer in it.
• I didn't get into the program I wanted at UNC.
Which leaves me at loose ends. I love my job at David's Bridal and I'm good at it and have a lot of fun, but I can't see making it my life. So I don't have a plan anymore, and while I can always reapply for a later term, well. I'm one of those passing believers in karma and sort of think that maybe I didn't get it because I wasn't meant to, and there's something more perfect for me out there.
So, flist, what do you think I should be doing with my life? I'm open to ideas and inspirations!
and really, you guys don't need to respond to the first part of this, I'm really awkward at replying to sympathies and will quickly try to change the subject. I just felt that I couldn't not say something, because it is the major event of my life right now. I know that you are all lovely people. ♥
Amusing sidenotes:
• MY MOTHER NICKED MY RED CARRY-ON. So I'm traveling off balance tomorrow with a blue bag.
• For possibly the first time in six years, I've packed BEFORE the wee hours/morning of my flight. And also did all the little squeezy bottles & compact makeup stuff. (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
angryhamster has seen my primary makeup carrying case and it really is scary.)
• I completed dalek cullen.
• I fail at the internet lately.
• My grandfather died on Sunday and I'm flying out to Texas for the funeral tomorrow. It was incredibly sudden and unexpected and happened in his sleep. I'm okay, I really am. But it's sort of a strange lack of balance. (Not that I was ever very balanced, the amount of bruises I have right now from running into things is really sad.) Just the fact that he always HAS been there, I talked to him like, a week before. He wasn't sick or anything, but he'd had bypass surgery 24 years ago. I'm sad, but I'm not devastated because I'm glad he went quickly and peacefully and was babysitting the night before, because he was always so full of life that I think wasting away would have killed him on an emotional level. He made his mistakes, but he was a good man and he was really happy for the past several years. His wife, Carmen, and he founded and ran a ministry in the Philippines and he'd been sober and happy. You can't help but admire a man who made mistakes, but still found something that made him really happy. These past few years he and my grandmother had even been friendly, which took a long time. I'm going to stop word vomiting about this now because I don't really know what to say about it except the fact that he was my grandfather and I loved him and the world feels a little strange knowing that he's no longer in it.
• I didn't get into the program I wanted at UNC.
Which leaves me at loose ends. I love my job at David's Bridal and I'm good at it and have a lot of fun, but I can't see making it my life. So I don't have a plan anymore, and while I can always reapply for a later term, well. I'm one of those passing believers in karma and sort of think that maybe I didn't get it because I wasn't meant to, and there's something more perfect for me out there.
So, flist, what do you think I should be doing with my life? I'm open to ideas and inspirations!
and really, you guys don't need to respond to the first part of this, I'm really awkward at replying to sympathies and will quickly try to change the subject. I just felt that I couldn't not say something, because it is the major event of my life right now. I know that you are all lovely people. ♥
Amusing sidenotes:
• MY MOTHER NICKED MY RED CARRY-ON. So I'm traveling off balance tomorrow with a blue bag.
• For possibly the first time in six years, I've packed BEFORE the wee hours/morning of my flight. And also did all the little squeezy bottles & compact makeup stuff. (
angryhamster has seen my primary makeup carrying case and it really is scary.)• I completed dalek cullen.
• I fail at the internet lately.
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